The real reason is that I love him. He's 30 years older, balding, and I love him. I hope he loves me too, but even though I am not sure of that, I still got what I want.
I am my own person. If anything, he is my trophy, my lapdog, someone who loves me because without me he's lost. I love him, and he needs me. We're happy, does it matter how?
Unrelated to the story: there are a few nice helps for writing at http://www.zokutou.co.uk/tools.html